Ever wonder where the elite authors do their grocery shopping? To my great surprise, I found myself in line behind our resident bestselling author, Mr. Legal Thriller at the neighborhood Food Lion. I knew right away who he was. I have seen his picture A LOT in the local paper. What was he wearing? What was he buying? What did he say to the cashier? And most importantly, why was he shopping in Food Lion? On this last question, I can only speculate.
This good-looking man wearing faded blue jeans and a crisp white dress shirt, had his sleeves rolled up his forearms and his top button undone. His chiseled face just made you melt with lust. (Oh, excuse me; I forgot this is a family-friendly blog.) He appeared to be in a hurry and got in the express lane with, literally, a cartload of beer and a splash of bottled water. Well, if you’re counting CASES of beer, he technically did not exceed the 15-item limit. Undoubtedly, he was about to throw a party--or would be the life of the party when he arrived with his trunkload of libations.
His choice of beers was pretty humdrum. Molson was the most exotic. But how exotic are you going to get in a Food Lion? It’s not like they’re known as a boutique grocery store. Our local non-chain international grocer has items from far-flung places on our planet and is more likely his usual shopping scene. Surely, Mr. Legal Thriller has tasted pale lagers, brown ales and stouts from the best brewing capitals of the world. Perhaps his taste buds grew accustomed to lesser brews before his first book hit the New York Times bestseller list. Though he did discuss with the cashier the merits of each of the different brewskies he purchased.
But why shop at Food Lion? Convenience? Low prices? No, I think compared to a place like Foods of All Nations he would not be recognized. I can’t say I blame him. It must diminish one’s quality of life to be so famous you can’t travel wherever you want. Restricted movement in our world, to my way of thinking, would be a form of imprisonment. For that I feel for him.