It's been one of the those months. I've been crazy busy at work. I have some upcoming projects, and I've been worried that I might screw them up.
I haven't had time to write as much as I'd like, and I wanted to have all this work finished by Chautauqua.
And silly as it sounds, we lost a follower today.
I am all about discipline, pressing through, and being committed to one's goal. However, I think it's very, very easy to mistake uptightness for passion.
Uptightness leads to ulcers, deep disappointment with myself and my perceived lack of progress, fear about the future, and a feeling that somehow ... some way ... I should be doing more. A lot more.
It involves copious amounts of chocolate that one is too nervous to even enjoy.
Passion, on the other hand, allows me to pour myself into my writing and write with abandon. Not compulsion. Not fear. Not a need to prove myself. It reminds me that I started blogging because of the awesome folks out in cyberspace (and you are awesome!). Not because I was trying to win a popularity contest.
(Passion also involves lots of chocolate, but you're relaxed enough to taste it.)
It's pretty easy for me to be kind to others. With myself? Not so much, sometimes.
I'm guessing that I'm not the only one who struggles with this. So ... here's a reminder to all of us to be gracious towards ourselves.
I feel better already. : )
p.s. Please, please don't think I'm complaining about losing a follower! (I didn't even try to figure out who it might have been.) I only mentioned it because it made me realize how silly I'd been. I've been so worried that person might wander back and think I was ragging on him/her...