Monday, April 26, 2010


Hear that? That's the sound of me taking a deeeeeeep breath.

It's been one of the those months. I've been crazy busy at work. I have some upcoming projects, and I've been worried that I might screw them up.

I haven't had time to write as much as I'd like, and I wanted to have all this work finished by Chautauqua.

And silly as it sounds, we lost a follower today.

I am all about discipline, pressing through, and being committed to one's goal. However, I think it's very, very easy to mistake uptightness for passion.

Uptightness leads to ulcers, deep disappointment with myself and my perceived lack of progress, fear about the future, and a feeling that somehow ... some way ... I should be doing more. A lot more.

It involves copious amounts of chocolate that one is too nervous to even enjoy.

Passion, on the other hand, allows me to pour myself into my writing and write with abandon. Not compulsion. Not fear. Not a need to prove myself. It reminds me that I started blogging because of the awesome folks out in cyberspace (and you are awesome!). Not because I was trying to win a popularity contest.

(Passion also involves lots of chocolate, but you're relaxed enough to taste it.)

It's pretty easy for me to be kind to others. With myself? Not so much, sometimes.

I'm guessing that I'm not the only one who struggles with this. So ... here's a reminder to all of us to be gracious towards ourselves.

I feel better already. : )

p.s. Please, please don't think I'm complaining about losing a follower! (I didn't even try to figure out who it might have been.) I only mentioned it because it made me realize how silly I'd been. I've been so worried that person might wander back and think I was ragging on him/her...


Lisa said...

Oh yes, Sarah, I hear you! I keep beating myself up because I'm barely writing at all. I have to remind myself that I have a two-month-old...a cute and cuddly reason to let myself off the hook for a while.

Still, I miss the flow...

Davin Malasarn said...

I'm taking a deep cleansing breath too. Thanks for the reminder!

KarenG said...

Hooray for chocolate! How do you know you lost a follower? Did they tell you? Anyway, that sucks, but it wasn't me! Good luck with everything you have to do.

Sarah said...

Lisa, you definitely have a reason to let yourself off the hook!

Davin, so good to have you drop by.

Karen, gotta love chocolate! As far as followers, I could see our number dropped. For a moment, I was going to see if I could figure out who it was ... and then I realized it was time to relax. It's really okay. I was rather ashamed I'd even noticed it in the first place. : )

Brenda said...

It's SO easy to let our "should's" dictate daily life...I should be working harder. I should be writing more. I should be nicer. I definitely have a tendency to get caught up in this cycle, so thanks for the timely reminder.

Tess said...

I remember the first time my blog lost a follower. It was such a surprise. But, know this .. one comes and one goes. It is okay for that number to have some fluidity.

And, you give us a good reminder here. It's spring! Let's chill out and take a nap on a blanket in the park :)

Ann Best said...

We're always hardest on ourselves! But we shouldn't be. We're each one of a kind in the universe!!

KM said...

It's definitely easy to get caught up in everything going on and go crazy. Happens to me a lot during school.

Sarah said...

Brenda, I really want to write because I love writing, not because I have to be published. (Even though I want to be.) I've already decided I'll make my first million from my teaching career, so I can afford to write just for the joy of it.

Thanks for the encouragement, Tess. I'm really not worried about the followers. I'd wondered about even mentioning it because I was worried folk would feel they needed to do something. I just wanted to show how silly we can be at times... : )

So true, Ann!

Katie, how are holding up? You must be near finals now.

Andrea Franco-Cook said...

I can relate Sarah. Sometimes life gets in the way of the things we want to do. When this happens I try to look at the positive aspects of my life. It sounds like you have a similar outlook.

Also, FWIW, I'm sorry you lost a follower. keep your chin up. Slushbusters is a wonderful blog.

Sarah said...

Thanks, Andrea. It's so important to watch for the good things in our lives, isn't it?

Tess said...

I know you're not worried, I really do.

I actually came back to tell you that I also lost a follower today. So, someone took a step back from the blogosphere and said goodbye to us both (and likely a bunch of others as well) Even after posting my comment here, I did have that little twinge of, "Hey, what did I do?". I think it's natural.

Sarah said...

Tess, you are so awesome! : )