Friday, February 5, 2010

It's time to vote for the most polished pitch!

We've reached the end. Our amazing contestants have worked on their pitches and sent me the final draft. I'm going to let you read the results. Please take the time to click on their names and visit their websites/blogs.

Pitch #1, written by Scott:

For all appearances, Jared had the perfect life – good job, nice house, partner of five years, a cat, accepting family, and margarita night once per month with his friends. Appearances were deceiving. Perfection did not exist. Even the most stable relationship had small flaws that could widen over time.


Pitch #2, written by Andrea:

Deep in the Yucat√°n, in 1562, a Mayan High Priest is instructed by the gods to entrust a sacred prophecy to Spanish Conquistador, Domingo Mendoza. With the assistance of an angel, the Mendoza family protects the prophecy for the next four- hundred- fifty years. In 2012, Soledad Mendoza inherits the prophecy following her father’s murder. In a race against time, the angel must help Soledad decipher the prophecy, before diabolical forces achieve their goal to take over the White House, then the world.


Pitch #3, written by Kirsty:

Little Dead Boys, a story of fairy tales and punk-rock dykes, is told in the alternating voices of a couple on the verge of breakup. Kit goes to the suburbs to sort out her relationship with Gretchen and her art project, but there discovers her family's connection to a local mystery. Gretchen needs to figure out what she’s doing with her life, her girlfriend, and her lover- but keeps getting distracted by thoughts of the mother she never met.



Pitch #4, written by Ian:

Sarah does not believe in magic. She has never tried to sneak into invisible houses or ancient magic mirrors, certainly never run for her life from dark Hunters or fought an old God who kidnaps children. But all that changes when her little sister, Jane, disappears one boring summer afternoon. Now Sarah is forced to set out on a quest to get her back home in time for tea.



Pitch #5, written by Michelle, the Slushbuster Grammar Nazi:

Jillian's ideas always feel like dares to Melanie, but she goes along with them in spite of her gut feelings. On Christmas Eve, Jillian's idea for a game leads to a terrible accident, putting Melanie in the hospital for weeks, and in a wheelchair for much longer. Melanie must learn to cope with the trials and humiliations of her injuries, find a way to forgive Jillian, and most of all, take care of herself.


Pitch #6, from Jayne:

Florence Delaney expects one of three things to happen when she dies. Ascend to heaven, descend to hell, or to wink out of existence entirely. Instead the unforeseen fourth thing happens – she meets Max, with his shaved head and strange fondness for white denim. And Max has a big confession to make…

Pitch #7, written by me:

The Looking Glass, a fairy tale, begins when Elsbeth moves to Eiden to live with her aunt, Lady Augusta. Lady Augusta believes that with enough work, plain-looking Elsbeth can make a match at a Maidens’ Ball. After a humiliating experience, Elsbeth decides to attend the next event her own way: Lady August can’t pick her partners if she can’t find her. However, as Elsbeth hides on the edges of the year’s grandest ball, she discovers a plot to assassinate the prince. Eiden’s future will be decided at a ball- by a girl who didn’t want to be there in the first place.


Pitch #8, written by Brenda:

Chloe Shepherd meets Dylan Hughes – gorgeous, funny and interested – on her first day of freshman orientation. Yet despite an amazing first date, he breaks things off. Weeks pass without a word until he finally speaks to her again, ready to confess his feelings and his secret. He is part of the ancient Rayhm clan of witches and his family (the intimidating sister, in particular) are incredibly powerful. What he leaves out, what Chloe discovers quite unintentionally, is what that really means and the dangerous course they are on that will change their futures – and the future of the Rayhm – forever.

Pitch #9, also written by Ian:

For Emmeline, it only took a moment for her life to turn upside down.

Yesterday, she was one of the most promising cadets in the nation’s military Academy for the magically gifted, but now she has gone rogue to save her friend, Poppy’s life. Aided only by her pregnant friend, Poppy and the retired assassin, Ospen Calder, she is on the run from a legion of fire-wielding swordsmen and a cabal of murderers. Together, the three strive to stay alive long enough to uncover why everyone wants them dead and what is so special about Poppy’s unborn child.




Pitch #10, written by Dan:

When she was a week old, Szandi’s mother left for England, leaving her to grow up on the Hungarian vineyard that had been in her father’s family for 300 years. Now 18, Szandi is part of Budapest’s cosmopolitan art scene, sharing a flat and a bohemian lifestyle with her lover and fellow sculptress, Yang. When she learns her father is dying, his last wish for her to return and run the vineyard, Szandi must choose once and for all: between the past and the present; between East and West; between her family and her lover.

Pitch #11, written by Tess:

(Please note that Tess intends this to be a spoken pitch. It's supposed to be conversational.)

I'm writing a middle grade, adventure novel wherein a brother and sister, who have never gotten along, are forced to team up against a secret society. The society represents the original 49ers in gold country, California. The siblings stumble across the group's secret treasure and soon find themselves in the middle of a puzzle that could cost them their very lives. Only by working together will they be able to overcome the peril and survive.


Pitch #12, written by Steena.

Nathan Hanlin, a disillusioned pastor, denies the existence of demons until he comes face to face with one. With everyone turning to him for answers, Nathan needs to figure out why his town is now infested with demons, and why he is the one responsible for it.Confused, he turns to his older sister Rachel for help, only to find a journal where Rachel has a secret she’s kept concerning his birth. Torn, Nathan feels lost. The revelation of his birth combined with the supernatural battle over his town leaves Nathan with nowhere to run but straight to God.


Please click here to vote for the most polished pitch!Pitches 5 and 7 aren't included because they're Slushie pitches.

Voting will close 4pm (EST) Sunday, February 7th.

10 comments:

Steena Holmes said...

Thanks everyone for the help! This has been a great experience. I'm happy knowing I have my pitch ready :)

Scott said...

Thanks to everyone for your comments. They've really helped me refocus my pitch (i.e., the opening of my query letter). Also, thanks to Sarah for not only asking the tough questions, but providing inspiration for yesterday's blog post.

S

Tess said...

You guys are the best - thanks for hosting this!

our weatherman is telling us the east coast got smashed with this last storm. hope everyone is safe and warm :D

Sarah said...

We're safe and warm, but it's still windy and snowing. We're in for another few hours of this, apparently.

Michelle said...

All is safe and warm here. We're grateful the power has stayed on.

KarenG said...

Who is Ian? And will he please read my work and write my pitches for me? He has a gift.

Lisa said...

Thanks, Sarah, for putting all this together...you did a great job. I wish I could have commented on all the pitches (not to mention pulled one of my own together), but you know...moving and all...

I'm so excited to discover the winner. It was tough to vote. I ended up going with the one that personally drew me in the most.

Agnieszkas Shoes said...

Thank you so much to Sarah, and to the incredibly kind people who commented in so much, and such useful detail.

Jayne said...

I'd like to add my thanks, both to Sarah and the Slushbusters in general for organising this, and to everyone who commented on my pitch. It has been so helpful, and I am so grateful for that help! I'd like to wish everyone the best of luck with their story ideas, and here's hoping good things happen for all! :)

Ian said...

I'd like to add my voice to those saying a great big thanks to all those who have torn my pitches apart (in the most friendly way, of course) and helped me put them back together again, but better. Ive really enjoyed the past couple of days and numerous revisions! :)

Also, cheers Slushbusters!
I came across your blog via Nicola Morgan's and will definitely be following it from now on.

PS - Aww, KarenG you're too kind, you made me blush!
I'd be happy to trade crits with you sometime. :)